Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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