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I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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