Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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