We named our party play list daddy issues
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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