He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
