I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize