You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
