i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
