That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
