don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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