More tranny stories later!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
