He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
pray to the hookup gods
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
