u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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