you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
