He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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