I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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