I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
