So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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