dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
