I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
