I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
