How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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