So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
