I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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