i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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