woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
