I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
