Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
