Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
