Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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