why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and she was petting her beer can
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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