watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
