I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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