Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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