At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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