You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize