Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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