the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
