I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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