Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
