This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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