Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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