it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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