I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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