Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
