Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
