I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
