Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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