Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
