I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
