me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
