easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
