apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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