margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
