Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
