Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
