My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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