you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
