I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
