R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
